Monday, February 23, 2009

The McGuffin Institute Moves To Iceland

The McGuffin Institute for the Recovery
and Restoration of Historical
1000 Sulphur Springs
Reykjavik, Iceland

January 4, 2007

Dear Subscriber:

Enclosed please find our monthly bulletin. The Institute is still getting settled--literally, as our new headquarters have been constructed on a frozen lava flow which, what with global warming and the recent loss of a nearby 41-mile ice shelf, has developed what Icelanders call grimrask, or "unstable mushiness." Still, our spirits are high, even if our first floor is currently below sea level.

Our affiliate, the Reykjavik Center for Short-Lived Phenomenon, reports that small traces of a lethal radioactive isotope have been discovered in the "ice hotel" where Justin Timberlake and other celebrities are currently enjoying a protracted holiday extravaganza. As the isotope in question, polonium-210, has a half-life of fifty thousand years, we queried our colleagues about its study by the Center for Short-Lived Phenomena and learned that in this instance, the Short-Lived Phenomena under study are the lifespans of persons exposed to the isotope, rather than polonium-210 itself, which is under independent scrutiny by the Vatnajokull Glacier Center for Long-Lived Phenomena.

With best wishes for 2007,

Velma Darwin

Velma Darwin
Acting Director

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